Just wanting to let you all know further to my last post that I have received an early offer for a place next year at university. It isn't for my first choice of course but it is for my second choice so I am pretty happy. So I am due to sit an exam on Sunday to try for my first choice and should find out about that any time from late Nov through to early Jan. I am nervous but the burden is definitely lifted somewhat knowing that worst case, I will be off to uni next year! Will keep you all posted and please don't say anything on facebook for those that know me there as I haven't told anyone yet!
Jo xx
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Tuesday, October 9, 2012
The studious type??
Hi all! As always there has been too much time between the last post and this one. Sorry sorry sorry! I have some news though...and no I'm not pregnant LOL
Before I give you the news I want to go over the background of the situation - Joel says there is never a one sentence piece of news with me, there is always a whole story. For the last few years I have been deciding what it is that I would like to do with my life career wise. I was a very good student in high school, got great marks and started university. After a year of it though I went through a stage where I lost my way. I had doubts about everything at that point in my life, it was a really difficult time for me. A good friend of mine, Lorraine, passed away to cancer at a very young age and extremely suddenly. It affected me greatly and while I often get embarrased to speak about it I will explain here on my blog that I developed an anxiety problem. Lorraine worked with me at my previous job. We were a tight knit little group of girls and had so much fun. Lorraine was vibrant, extremely funny, and forthright. She started feeling ill with stomach complaints and went to the doctor who told her she had a virus. After a week or two feeling unwell she went back and was told it was suspected she had some type of hernia. She took 2 weeks leave from work to rest and was given medication. At the end of the two weeks she was feeling worse so I guess she started taking things really seriously then and went to another doctor. After a number of tests she was told she had bowel cancer and was hospitalised for chemo and surgery. Two weeks later our beautiful friend passed away. So it was extremely sudden and out of nowhere.
I guess the randomness of it and the fact that she went from having "a virus" to dying within a month or two completely terrified me. I began to worry a lot about death - that I would die or that people I loved would. It started off as worries in the back of my mind and then I would find myself lying awake at night getting upset as if those worries had actually happened. I would have to remind myself "it's ok nothing has actually happened!" Then I found myself shying away from anything that would put me in harm's way so I all of a sudden would avoid driving in case I crashed and silly things like that. These silly things became full blown fears and i found I didn't want to get out of the house much if I could avoid doing so. I finally went to the doctor and spoke about what was happening. I was put on an anti-depressant which was good for reducing anxiety. I also was referred to a psychologist for counselling which helped a great deal. After about a year, I came off the medication under my doctor's supervision and was feeling a whole lot better. During the time when I wasn't feeling so fantastic I had passed my last semester of university but only just barely. Unfortuneately my anxiety issues had caused me to spend a lot of days in bed when I should have got out of that bed and gone in to lectures and things like that. After scraping through the semester I deferred and put my course on hold, intending to go back once I felt more like myself. When I emerged from this dark period I felt so differently about the way I wanted to live my life. I had always loved music and had been a keen musician (singer) all throughout high school. When school finished and I was applying to university I felt very torn between two loves - I wanted to be immersed in music so desperately and yet I felt I should pick something academic that would get me a career. Also, like I said I was a great student - I enjoyed studying and learning and was good at it. I loved both the academic side of myself and the musical side too.
The experience of what happened with Lorraine made me just want to have fun, enjoy myself and live my life. I auditioned for a performing arts college to complete a degree in Music. There were only 10 places for singers (5 boys and 5 girls) and they held auditions for a week. I found out a month or so later that I didn't get in and I was crushed. Then after a week, I got a phone call from the college to say somebody who was accepted had declined to offer and I was next on the list to have the spot. I was in!!! I withdrew from my previous course and entered the world of music. I completed my degree and on the way I met my darling husband who was a fellow student in my course. To this day I am extremely proud that I made that call. No, I am not a famous musician, but it was what I needed at the time and I am very glad to have had those years at music college. Plus the added bonus of finding a husband there was great too LOL!!
Well we all know the rest of the story from then up until now. Joel and I got married, and now we have Xavier and life has taken over. Being a mum, being a wife, putting food on the table, paying the bills etc has become the priority. Joel went back to school a few years ago and got a qualification and started his own business very successfully. I have lately been wondering if maybe I would like to return to study as well. God keeps telling me to put the journey of trying to have baby number 2 off. First there were health concerns and now that those have been address my heart is telling me to move in another direction. While I like my little job working in an office, I feel Xavier get older and he is already at 3 year old kinder. Next year it will be 4 year old kinder then will come school. I feel sometimes that while he is off at kinder I am at a loose end. I can only imagine what it will be like when he is at school 5 days a week.
And so, here is the conclusion....here is my news....I have decided to return to university. I have applied to start a Bachelor of Social Work next year. It will be off campus study, so I can study from home on a part time basis for now. But I have the option of transferring to on campus later on once Xavier is at school. It is a 4 year degree and because I am doing it part time for the first year or two it may take me just a little longer than that. I am extremely nervous and thrilled with my decision but scared to death too! I have submitted an application and I have to sit an entrance exam on Sun Oct 21. Please wish me luck and have me in your prayers and I will keep you posted.
Thanks again for getting all the way to the end of such a long post!
Jo xx
Before I give you the news I want to go over the background of the situation - Joel says there is never a one sentence piece of news with me, there is always a whole story. For the last few years I have been deciding what it is that I would like to do with my life career wise. I was a very good student in high school, got great marks and started university. After a year of it though I went through a stage where I lost my way. I had doubts about everything at that point in my life, it was a really difficult time for me. A good friend of mine, Lorraine, passed away to cancer at a very young age and extremely suddenly. It affected me greatly and while I often get embarrased to speak about it I will explain here on my blog that I developed an anxiety problem. Lorraine worked with me at my previous job. We were a tight knit little group of girls and had so much fun. Lorraine was vibrant, extremely funny, and forthright. She started feeling ill with stomach complaints and went to the doctor who told her she had a virus. After a week or two feeling unwell she went back and was told it was suspected she had some type of hernia. She took 2 weeks leave from work to rest and was given medication. At the end of the two weeks she was feeling worse so I guess she started taking things really seriously then and went to another doctor. After a number of tests she was told she had bowel cancer and was hospitalised for chemo and surgery. Two weeks later our beautiful friend passed away. So it was extremely sudden and out of nowhere.
I guess the randomness of it and the fact that she went from having "a virus" to dying within a month or two completely terrified me. I began to worry a lot about death - that I would die or that people I loved would. It started off as worries in the back of my mind and then I would find myself lying awake at night getting upset as if those worries had actually happened. I would have to remind myself "it's ok nothing has actually happened!" Then I found myself shying away from anything that would put me in harm's way so I all of a sudden would avoid driving in case I crashed and silly things like that. These silly things became full blown fears and i found I didn't want to get out of the house much if I could avoid doing so. I finally went to the doctor and spoke about what was happening. I was put on an anti-depressant which was good for reducing anxiety. I also was referred to a psychologist for counselling which helped a great deal. After about a year, I came off the medication under my doctor's supervision and was feeling a whole lot better. During the time when I wasn't feeling so fantastic I had passed my last semester of university but only just barely. Unfortuneately my anxiety issues had caused me to spend a lot of days in bed when I should have got out of that bed and gone in to lectures and things like that. After scraping through the semester I deferred and put my course on hold, intending to go back once I felt more like myself. When I emerged from this dark period I felt so differently about the way I wanted to live my life. I had always loved music and had been a keen musician (singer) all throughout high school. When school finished and I was applying to university I felt very torn between two loves - I wanted to be immersed in music so desperately and yet I felt I should pick something academic that would get me a career. Also, like I said I was a great student - I enjoyed studying and learning and was good at it. I loved both the academic side of myself and the musical side too.
The experience of what happened with Lorraine made me just want to have fun, enjoy myself and live my life. I auditioned for a performing arts college to complete a degree in Music. There were only 10 places for singers (5 boys and 5 girls) and they held auditions for a week. I found out a month or so later that I didn't get in and I was crushed. Then after a week, I got a phone call from the college to say somebody who was accepted had declined to offer and I was next on the list to have the spot. I was in!!! I withdrew from my previous course and entered the world of music. I completed my degree and on the way I met my darling husband who was a fellow student in my course. To this day I am extremely proud that I made that call. No, I am not a famous musician, but it was what I needed at the time and I am very glad to have had those years at music college. Plus the added bonus of finding a husband there was great too LOL!!
Well we all know the rest of the story from then up until now. Joel and I got married, and now we have Xavier and life has taken over. Being a mum, being a wife, putting food on the table, paying the bills etc has become the priority. Joel went back to school a few years ago and got a qualification and started his own business very successfully. I have lately been wondering if maybe I would like to return to study as well. God keeps telling me to put the journey of trying to have baby number 2 off. First there were health concerns and now that those have been address my heart is telling me to move in another direction. While I like my little job working in an office, I feel Xavier get older and he is already at 3 year old kinder. Next year it will be 4 year old kinder then will come school. I feel sometimes that while he is off at kinder I am at a loose end. I can only imagine what it will be like when he is at school 5 days a week.
And so, here is the conclusion....here is my news....I have decided to return to university. I have applied to start a Bachelor of Social Work next year. It will be off campus study, so I can study from home on a part time basis for now. But I have the option of transferring to on campus later on once Xavier is at school. It is a 4 year degree and because I am doing it part time for the first year or two it may take me just a little longer than that. I am extremely nervous and thrilled with my decision but scared to death too! I have submitted an application and I have to sit an entrance exam on Sun Oct 21. Please wish me luck and have me in your prayers and I will keep you posted.
Thanks again for getting all the way to the end of such a long post!
Jo xx
Thursday, April 26, 2012
The baby story
So in my last post I mentioned that we had to postpone baby number 2 for now. Here is the story on that: I had to visit my GP for a referral to see my OB/GYN to have my Mirena device removed so that we could then start IVF in the near future. I decided that seeing as I have had so many issues with iron deficiency in the past, especially during my pregnancy with Xavier, that I should get my iron levels checked before any babies. The GP thought this would be a great idea and did some bloodwork, deciding also to check a number of other things. The bloodwork came back and I was a tad low on iron but I also found I was extremely low on both Vitamin D and B12. She suggested delaying removing the mirena until this is all sorted out. So I am on a few supplements and we will recheck all levels in a few months. I am feeling pretty OK about all this. I really would love another baby but I feel a lot more patience, unlike before having Xavier when I felt so much panic and anxiety and urgency. I would rather take the time to have a healthy body before hopefully putting a bub in there. Joel and I think that seeing as we had to delay things, we may wait til next year so that I can be bridesmaid in my friends wedding in Jan and not have to worry about pregnancy inconveniencing things like dress fittings etc. Also because we have our house on the market that will also give us time to get settled into our new place before going through the stress of IVF. So that is where we are at the moment and I'll keep you posted. xoxoxo
Monday, April 2, 2012
Oh my goodness!
This title is in regards to two things: 1. that I haven't posted since October and 2. that there is so much to say because so much has occurred in my blogging hiatus.
I think I will have to tackle this in bullet points and resolve to do better with my blogging in the future. Sorry guys LOL.
Xavier: My little monkey is now three years old as of Jan 16. It is hard to believe how much time has flown. He continues to delight us each and every day. He began a special kinder program in Feb that is run at a special school. That is - a school for children with developmental delays and also disabilities. It is a program where they can do regular kinder activities but with appropriate therapists present - like an Occupational therapists to help kids while they cut and paste and that sort of thing. His teachers are very supportive and he loves going. He has also been granted government funding for an aid at his daycare, so he has someone by his side to constantly help him with activities etc. The daycare suggested it because once he moved up into the 3 year old room at the start of the year there aren't as many staff members per child and he founf it hard to cope with not having so much guidance. He would get confused with what he was supposed to be doing and wander off to another room and things like that. He has had much more direction and been more settled since he has had his aid.
We had our regular check with the pediatrician in Jan and he is still not entirely sure what is going on and therefore we still don't have a "diagnosis" as such. Xavier still struggles with using his hands and fingers. He has improved a little and can now make a little drawing on a piece of paper which is huge progress, but he can't keep it up for very long. I can't work out whether it is painful in his hands to continue or whether it is mentally too draining for him, but he seems to show discomfort and want to stop. I have also noticed some unusual quirks with him. I'm not sure of any other way to put it than that. Things like he won't have a blanket or sheet over him when he goes to bed at night. He just wants to lay on a bed with nothing over him. If you try to coax him into having a blanket he acts distressed like as if the blanket is scary. We just have to make sure we dress him really warmly in the cold months and sneak in after he is asleep to cover him up, which he doesnt seem to mind at all. He also hates any "grooming" activites like having his face washed or his hair brushed or his nappy changed. He screams the place down and gets really distressed and says it hurts. It is really a dreaded situation having to change his nappy when we are out and about because you should see the looks we get LOL. The pediatrician says he is concerned that Xavier may have a sensory processing disorder. Whether this is the complete problem or whether it is part of a larger issue he is not sure (for example, he is pretty sure Xavier is not autisitc however sensory processing disorders can sometimes occur with autism as well as a number of other disorders). He says Xavier is almost at the stage/age where we will be able to do some assessments soon and hopefully try and get some answers as to what is going on. And by the way if I tried to explain what a sensory processing disorder is then we would be here for some time, it is pretty complex and there are even a few sub categories for different types of SPD too. If you google the term though, you will find a wealth of info out there if you are interested. It is amazing to find so much info on a term I had never heard of before!
Our house: We have decided to put our house on the market after almost 6 years here. For the last year we have felt we were outgrowing its small size. Recently we made the decision to take the plunge and sell. It is a slow market here at the moment so we are going to take our time selling so we can hopefully get the price we want. Once we have sold we will then look for something else. We are not sure as to whether we want to build or buy. Joel's folks have kindly offered to have us as extended house guests once we sell while we look for somewhere new to live. I am not someone who responds well to any sort of change so it has been pretty stressful for me. But I am gradually adjusting and getting excited about the future ahead.
"Cate": Some of you might remember the posts in my old blog about my best friend who went through a breakdown a few years ago. I referred to her as Cate. Well she sought the help she needed at the time of the breakdown and has really come a long way since being so unwell. She recently became engaged to her partner and has asked me to be a bridesmaid for their wedding in Jan 2013. Not only that but she and her fiance have asked me to since a song at the wedding. I don't know if I have mentioned that Joel and I met while studying music - so I have a bit of a background in music and love to sing. I was honoured to be asked to perform such a lovely duty. I don't know what song they will choose but I can't wait.
My family: Well there is nothing much to report with Joel. He is still the same lovely husband :) His business is going quite well and he is keeping well too. As for Mum and Dad you might remember last time I wrote they had both been injured - Mum with a fracture in her foot/ankle and Dad with a shoulder injury which required surgery. Mum's injury healed nicely and she is back at work now. Dad unfortuneately has had a rocky road to recovery. After his initial shoulder surgery he developed "frozen shoulder". He recently went in for a second procedure and things seem to be healing now. Hopefully after easter he will be able to start easing into going back to work. He is getting a bit stir crazy at home these days.
My sister: My sister got married last week. She has been divorced from her first husband for quite some time and according to my parents she has had a long term partner for a couple years now. Mum and Dad say he is a really lovely person and they get along well with him. Despite our history, I want the best for my sister so I am really pleased she has met someone nice and she seems really happy according to my parents. I didn't attend the wedding (I wasn't invited which is to be expected considering we are not in contact) but Mum and Dad went and said it was quite nice. My sister's daughter (my niece) has just started contact with her Mum again, however my sister's son (my nephew) won't have any contact. I think he has been quite affected by everything that has happened in the past. My niece stayed with my parents recently and my sister consented to her having a visit with me. I got to see my niece for the first time in over 3 years. It was wonderful! We had a great time and she has grown to be a beautiful little lady. I was very proud of her.
Baby making: is on hold for now due to some health reasons. More info on that later as getting all this info down has been quite a task. I'll get back on the computer tonight and fill you all in. Lots of love to all.
I think I will have to tackle this in bullet points and resolve to do better with my blogging in the future. Sorry guys LOL.
Xavier: My little monkey is now three years old as of Jan 16. It is hard to believe how much time has flown. He continues to delight us each and every day. He began a special kinder program in Feb that is run at a special school. That is - a school for children with developmental delays and also disabilities. It is a program where they can do regular kinder activities but with appropriate therapists present - like an Occupational therapists to help kids while they cut and paste and that sort of thing. His teachers are very supportive and he loves going. He has also been granted government funding for an aid at his daycare, so he has someone by his side to constantly help him with activities etc. The daycare suggested it because once he moved up into the 3 year old room at the start of the year there aren't as many staff members per child and he founf it hard to cope with not having so much guidance. He would get confused with what he was supposed to be doing and wander off to another room and things like that. He has had much more direction and been more settled since he has had his aid.
We had our regular check with the pediatrician in Jan and he is still not entirely sure what is going on and therefore we still don't have a "diagnosis" as such. Xavier still struggles with using his hands and fingers. He has improved a little and can now make a little drawing on a piece of paper which is huge progress, but he can't keep it up for very long. I can't work out whether it is painful in his hands to continue or whether it is mentally too draining for him, but he seems to show discomfort and want to stop. I have also noticed some unusual quirks with him. I'm not sure of any other way to put it than that. Things like he won't have a blanket or sheet over him when he goes to bed at night. He just wants to lay on a bed with nothing over him. If you try to coax him into having a blanket he acts distressed like as if the blanket is scary. We just have to make sure we dress him really warmly in the cold months and sneak in after he is asleep to cover him up, which he doesnt seem to mind at all. He also hates any "grooming" activites like having his face washed or his hair brushed or his nappy changed. He screams the place down and gets really distressed and says it hurts. It is really a dreaded situation having to change his nappy when we are out and about because you should see the looks we get LOL. The pediatrician says he is concerned that Xavier may have a sensory processing disorder. Whether this is the complete problem or whether it is part of a larger issue he is not sure (for example, he is pretty sure Xavier is not autisitc however sensory processing disorders can sometimes occur with autism as well as a number of other disorders). He says Xavier is almost at the stage/age where we will be able to do some assessments soon and hopefully try and get some answers as to what is going on. And by the way if I tried to explain what a sensory processing disorder is then we would be here for some time, it is pretty complex and there are even a few sub categories for different types of SPD too. If you google the term though, you will find a wealth of info out there if you are interested. It is amazing to find so much info on a term I had never heard of before!
Our house: We have decided to put our house on the market after almost 6 years here. For the last year we have felt we were outgrowing its small size. Recently we made the decision to take the plunge and sell. It is a slow market here at the moment so we are going to take our time selling so we can hopefully get the price we want. Once we have sold we will then look for something else. We are not sure as to whether we want to build or buy. Joel's folks have kindly offered to have us as extended house guests once we sell while we look for somewhere new to live. I am not someone who responds well to any sort of change so it has been pretty stressful for me. But I am gradually adjusting and getting excited about the future ahead.
"Cate": Some of you might remember the posts in my old blog about my best friend who went through a breakdown a few years ago. I referred to her as Cate. Well she sought the help she needed at the time of the breakdown and has really come a long way since being so unwell. She recently became engaged to her partner and has asked me to be a bridesmaid for their wedding in Jan 2013. Not only that but she and her fiance have asked me to since a song at the wedding. I don't know if I have mentioned that Joel and I met while studying music - so I have a bit of a background in music and love to sing. I was honoured to be asked to perform such a lovely duty. I don't know what song they will choose but I can't wait.
My family: Well there is nothing much to report with Joel. He is still the same lovely husband :) His business is going quite well and he is keeping well too. As for Mum and Dad you might remember last time I wrote they had both been injured - Mum with a fracture in her foot/ankle and Dad with a shoulder injury which required surgery. Mum's injury healed nicely and she is back at work now. Dad unfortuneately has had a rocky road to recovery. After his initial shoulder surgery he developed "frozen shoulder". He recently went in for a second procedure and things seem to be healing now. Hopefully after easter he will be able to start easing into going back to work. He is getting a bit stir crazy at home these days.
My sister: My sister got married last week. She has been divorced from her first husband for quite some time and according to my parents she has had a long term partner for a couple years now. Mum and Dad say he is a really lovely person and they get along well with him. Despite our history, I want the best for my sister so I am really pleased she has met someone nice and she seems really happy according to my parents. I didn't attend the wedding (I wasn't invited which is to be expected considering we are not in contact) but Mum and Dad went and said it was quite nice. My sister's daughter (my niece) has just started contact with her Mum again, however my sister's son (my nephew) won't have any contact. I think he has been quite affected by everything that has happened in the past. My niece stayed with my parents recently and my sister consented to her having a visit with me. I got to see my niece for the first time in over 3 years. It was wonderful! We had a great time and she has grown to be a beautiful little lady. I was very proud of her.
Baby making: is on hold for now due to some health reasons. More info on that later as getting all this info down has been quite a task. I'll get back on the computer tonight and fill you all in. Lots of love to all.
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