A whole lot of updates :)

Hi all, I just looked at the date of my last blog and was pretty amazed to see it was done in June. Since we are now in August I really should write something. I'm such a bad blogger aren't I? If there was a blogging olympics I would not even qualify lol.

First thing's first - Xavier! He is going really well. He is chatting a whole lot more - still not actually having conversations as such, but he is talking more than just singular words. Before he would point to things and name them. So he'd point to a car and say "car!" etc... but now he is interacting more and using words to tell us what he wants or how he feels, which is really pleasing. He has been a lot less frustrated with us too, because his wants are being met faster. He talks to us in short two or three word sentences. Like for eg. he might be having his dinner and get full so he will push his dinner away and say "all done". Or today we were on the way to visit my Mum and Dad, and he recognises the way. He must have realised where we were headed because he started yelling out "Hi Nan!" It is really great to hear him chatting more and more, and we anticipate that his vocab skills will continue to develop.

Xavier also recently started with an Occupational Therapist. He has had one session so far and the main aim of it is to try and get his motor skills up. He still really struggles using his hands and fingers, so activities that other kids his age are doing without a second thought - like drawing - he is struggling with. The OT has some really great strategies and she has got me doing some different techniques with Xav at home. Already in a week and a half of working with Xav at home, he is holding a crayon the right way up and scribbling a bit on a piece of paper. It is in a clumsy "hit and miss" kind of way, but the point is he is doing it all on his own, whereas before he was needing lots of assistance to do that.

The other big news is that we got Xavier tickets to see The Wiggles in concert in Dec. He is a Wiggles fanatic right now - he loves them! So we hope he really enjoys the concert. By Dec he will be a little bit older too so that should be good for him to properly enjoy it. We have the concert advertisement stuck on our fridge at the moment and Xav loves to look at it. He points and says "Da Wuggles! Wow!!!" Joel and I are really looking forward to taking him to see them live.

Next on my update is Joel - it is his 30th bday this month on the 28th. He is a bit depressed about turning 30. He says he doesn't want to get old LOL. That sort of stuff has never really bothered me - age is just a number to me. I'm going to try to lift his spirits with a little party on the day. Also we are going to go out to lunch on the day as well, then the party will be in the evening. I'm soooo not sure what to get him though for his present and time is running out, so if anyone has any ideas let me know OK? :)

Last on my update is just something I wanted to mention about my sister. A few weeks ago Mum told me that she was over for dinner at my parents and got into a big deep and meaningful about me, and the fact that I don't speak to her. She said to Mum that she feels ashamed for all her past behaviour and that she wants to get counselling, and start to get her life together, and make amends for the grief she has caused us all. She said she doesn't blame Me or Joel for having to distance ourselves from her and that she understands the things she has done to us over the years need more than just an apology to fix, she needs to work on her behaviour and show people she has changed and then hopefully she can start to rebuild the bridges in time. Mum relayed all this to me, and I was shocked and pleased, because in my sister's whole life, I have never known her to accept responsibility for anything. No matter what she does, it is always somebody else's fault. I came home to Joel when I learnt this and was very happy and hopeful that my sister might finally be getting herself together and that maybe in years to come someday we might have a relationship again.

The last few weeks I have felt good about that, but then today it all came crashing down. I was over at Mum's and my sister rang up hysterical saying she has found a lump on her breast. Sorry to sound awful but before you gasp and say "oh my God" I want to explain that my sister has a very long history of faking illnesses for attention. She faked ovarian cancer once and kept the charade going for months before she had to admit it wasn't true and she had lied. When she was pregnant with my niece she lied and said it was twins, then she lied and said she lost one of the twins and we all rallied around her. Eventually in the end she got found out that there was just the one baby all along. There have been other occassions too - so basically when she says she has an illness it sounds awful, but we do get skeptical. Mum said when she rang this afternoon she was sobbing on the phone and was absolutely hysterical. Mum tried to get the full story out of her and in the end it turned out that she had a lump that had been there for a month or two - it has gone away and come back a few times and she had gone to get it checked with the GP. The GP said because it's coming and going and because of the appearance of the lump, she thought it was just a harmless cyst possibly to do with hormones. But she referred my sister for an ultrasound anyway to be on the safe side. My sister rang to book the u-sound and couldn't get in till next week, so she had gone into a panic and rang my Mum in tears. I think she had allowed her imagination to get the better of her.

Mum was doing her best to try to reassure her, and was saying things like "I know it's stressful but it sounds like the doctor is pretty confident it's OK, and is just being thorough by sending you for an ultrasound..no point stressing at this stage...etc" I was trying to be helpful by saying it could be a blocked duct as I have had one of those before. Mum said to my sister "Your sister is over here and she said it could be a blocked duct - so you see there's lots of harmless things it could be". Then I hear Mum say "Hey there's no need for that language and talk, I know you're upset but that's enough". When Mum gets off the phone I asked her what my sister said. Apparently she let fly to my Mum this whole heap of abuse directed at me. She said to Mum "Don't you tell me what my sister says, I don't have a sister anymore - she is nothing but a..... *insert colourful language here* and she is dead to me, I am an only child."

My sister is pretty melodramatic so I'm used to her being pretty over the top, but this really made me sad especially after I thought she was making progress. It has really made me realise that she must be very erratic and very up and down in her emotions - with good days and bad days. Sometimes I feel guilty that I don't have contact with her, because I wonder if I should be extending my hand and offering support and help. Then I remember the years that I spent doing that and having my life ripped in tatters all the time by her antics. And that it was her refusal to accept all of our offers for help that have resulted in me having to put the distance between us. Once I had a child I just felt I couldn't subject my family to it any longer.

Anyway I better sign off there - once again this is more of a book than a blog update. Have a great night everyone. Love Jo xoxoxoxo