A great talk

I just love my Sister in Law. As most of you know, I don't have a relationship with my sister. That also means I don't have too much of a relationship with my niece and nephew. I miss them a lot and when I chose not to be in contact with my sister that was the hardest part about making that choice - knowing my niece and nephew would not be as close with me.

It is a great joy for me to have such a wonderful Sister in Law, and brother in law (her husband) AND now a new baby nephew. I am so glad that when Joel and I got married, his sister ended up being part of the package! I'm a lucky lady. My SIL and I share a particularly special bond because as well as both having little boys, we have also both had a miscarriage. She has been a great source of comfort to me during the hard times. She is a very together and capable person, and she is not afraid to talk about her feelings. Even though I wish she didn't have to have a miscarriage, it has been reassuring to see that even people as together as she is struggle with miscarriage and the emotions involved. It makes me feel like less of a basket case on the bad days!

We had a great talk last night on the phone and I have been thinking about it all day. Everyone has been asking me about Xavier a lot lately because he will be having eye surgery soon and he has been sick with the Slap Cheek virus. Last night though after we had finished talking about Xavier, my SIL asked me "and how are you?". I thought she just meant in general and I said I was fine, work had been quiet etc, and she said "No I mean, how are you feeling after your surgery?" I realised that I hadn't even been thinking about it, that it hadn't been bothering me. I really thought that once I had the surgery, I would fall in a heap at the idea of having the device in and being unable to get pregnant. But strangely it has been a really positive thing for me. All that monthly anticipation wondering if maybe this is the miracle month has gone. That might sound negative that the hope is gone but it really isn't. For me that hope became a stress long ago and it is nice to have it all settled and I know where I stand and that stress is now gone. I have also been able to get my head around the fact that my family consists of Joel, Xavier and I and for the first time I can remember I am starting to find true happiness in my family of three without looking for anything extra. It's nice and I am content.

My SIL and I chatted for awhile and she said she was happy to know how well I was doing. Then when I mentioned to her that we had heard from the hospital and found out the date for Xavier's eye surgery (it will be June 9) she started asking if there was anything she could do to help me or Xavier around that time. She is a great cook and makes a noodle soup that Xavier adores so she said she would call in the day before with a big pot of it so that in the days following the surgery when he might be feeling yuck, he will be able to sip on some of his favourite soup. How thoughtful! It was a really beautiful talk we had and I hung up the phone and just sat and beamed for a few seconds at how lucky I was to have such lovely family members in my life.